Dialogue Exercise 3: Justin Bieber
by Megan Potassium
Summary: Dialogue Exercise #3: Kurt contemplates murder when Puck compares him to Justin Beiber.


A/N: Rated T for one naughty word.

So here we are… Dialogue Exercise Number 3! Woo, I feel so accomplished. I must say… I think this one is my favourite. Although it was also the most painful... I had to look up the lyrics to Bieber songs... -shudders-

WARNING: "BIELBERS" DO NOT READ! There is a serious hate on "J-Biebs" and I really don't want to deal with fan girls getting all pissy :P although it might amuse me…

No, I have not abandoned "A New Direction." I just have to muster up enough will power to finish the damn chapter. Same with "Miseria Cantare." In the meantime- Enjoy the Dialogue Exercises and a totally amazing fic that I am constructing with **ArtinaCompletesLife **that will appear sometime in the near future.

READ ON!

-:-

"_Like baby, baby, baby, ooh!"_

"Noah."

"_Like baby, baby, baby, no!"_

"Noah, I swear to god-"

"_LIKE BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"_

"NOAH!"

"Oh… hey Kurt."

"Noah."

"What up dude?"

"I've got a giant ape in my living room singing what appears to be a disgrace to music as we know it_._"

"Hey!"

"Noah, were in _the hell _did you learn a Justin Bieber song?"

"My sister…"

"And why in _the hell _do you feel the need to sing that song at the top of your lungs in my house?"

"I dunno."

"Why are you even here?"

"Finn invited me over."

"Noah, Finn is at Rachel's for at least another hour."

"Well then I guess you're stuck with me and Bieber."

"Oh dear god."

"_Your world is my world."_

"If there really is a higher power… Hey, it's me, Kurt."

"_And my fight is your fight."_

"Please stop the torture."

"_My breath is your breath."_

"I'm begging you."

"_And your heart…"_

"Please. Spare me."

"_AND GIRL YOU'RE MY ONE LOVE!"_

"I'll do anything!"

"_MY ONE HEART!"_

"MAKE IT STOP!"

"Dude, you don't even know how ridiculous you look right now."

"I'm not the _stud _singing a _Justin Bieber_ song."

"Exactly, I'm a stud. I make Bieber cool."

"Noah, ten million ice cubes couldn't make Justin Bieber cool."

"_My one life for sure."_

"Here we go…"

"_Let me tell you one time."_

"No, let me tell you one time… Either stop singing or get out."

"Did you know scientists discovered a new disease?"

"What do you know about science?"

"Dude, just play along."

"I'll play along if it gets you to stop singing."

"Fine."

"No, Noah, I didn't know scientists discovered a new disease!"

"Yeah, apparently it's…like… fatal."

"Do you even know what fatal means?"

"Dude."

"Sorry. Oh no! A fatal disease! Please tell me the name!"

"It's called…"

"Yeah?"

"BIEBER FEVER!"

"Fuck my life."

"_Whoa! _Did you just swear?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Dude, I've never heard you swear before!"

"Keep it up with this Bieber nonsense and you'll hear words you didn't even know existed."

"C'mon dude, you know you totally set yourself up for that one."

"No, _you _set me up for that."

"…"

"…"

"Any second now…"

"_And there's just no turning back,"_

"I knew it wouldn't last."

"_When your heart's under attack."_

"Noah?"

"_Gonna give everything I have,"_

"Please."

"_It's my destiny!"_

"Oh my god Noah! He sounds like a girl!"

"_I will- _wait… What?"

"He sounds like a twelve year old girl."

"Dude."

"What?"

"…"

"…"

"Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you comparing me to Justin Bieber?"

"Well why don't we count the similarities between you two."

"Noah."

"One: You both sound like girls."

"I'm warning you."

"Two: You're both sixteen."

"I'm three seconds away from killing you."

"Three: You both sing."

"One."

"Four: You both obsess about your hair."

"Two."

"Five: You're both gay."

"Three- Excuse me?"

"No straight dude sounds like you."

"You're always such the charmer."

"No offence or anything."

"Offence taken."

"But it's true!"

"I am so insulted by your mere presence in my house. Leave before I forcibly kick you out."

"Fine."

"…"

"…"

"_Eenie meenie miney mo."_

"Argh!"

"_Catch a bad chick by her toe."_

"That's it. Outta my house."

"_If she holla, let her go."_

"What kind of song is that?"

"Eenie Meenie."

"It's probably about his penis."

"You would know. You _are _both gay."

"…"

"…"

"Dude, you're kinda turning red…"

"…"

"…"

"Hey, Kurt."

"What."

"You know you love me."

"No I don't."

"I know you care."

"I care about the gum under my shoe more than I care about you."

"Just shout whenever."

"You better not be doing what I think you're doing."

"And I'll be there."

"Are you seriously quoting _another _Bieber song after all of that?"

"And I was like…"

"Don't do it."

"_BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"_

"Kill me now."

"No way dude, it's way too much fun annoying you."

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You."

"No you're not."

"Run."

"C'mon Kurt."

"Run now."

"It was just a little fun."

"Any last words?"

"_BABY, BABY, BABY, NO!"_

-:-


End file.
